Hey friends!

I really appreciate all your encouraging messages and prayers during this time of family leave. Reese has had some significant lip and tongue ties, along with other restrictions that has made feeding really difficult, especially for Rebecca. As you can imagine, this has made for some really long and difficult days and nights. But things are getting much better now and Reese weighed in at over 9 pounds this week! I can't believe she will already be a month old this Monday. Thanks again for your support along the way.

I also really hope you have enjoyed these wonderful pieces over the last few weeks! If you haven't had a chance to read them yet, you can find them all on my newsletter feed here.​

My guest writer today is Ken Kuhn. Ken and I have not only been friends since we were young, but we both felt called to pastoral ministry as we got older. Reconnecting later on in life, we discovered how our lives have taken us in very similar directions, especially in regard to our faith and experiences within the church. We are also in a very similar stage of life with our families and careers. Ken is actually the person who not only introduced me to Convertkit, the platform I send this newsletter through, but who originally prompted me to start writing this weekly newsletter in the first place. Needless to say, I'm very thankful for him, his heart, and his friendship.

He has a passion for parenting and the spiritual formation of children. He has provided some resources on this topic below as well as a short piece exploring the topic, which concludes with some important tips. I hope you find the same encouragement and insight from Ken's words as I do.

Lastly, I wanted to tell you about my new podcast: Many of you have asked if I've ever considered starting a podcast. Well, I'm planning to do just that at the end of May! My goal for this podcast is to produce an audio sermon every week for those who want to navigate scripture together in our current social and political environment. This will create another opportunity to meaningfully engage the Bible and our faith together. I also hope it could provide an opportunity to have intentional interviews and conversations with others down the road. This could be a really positive free resource, especially for those who currently do not have a church community, but still want a weekly sermon. Several of you have also generously asked if there is a way to help get this podcast off the ground, which is so incredibly kind of you! The reality is, I need several pieces of tech to produce this podcast to my standards. For example, I need a mic, cables, and some other gear, and my laptop is over a decade old and is in desperate need of replacing if I hope to continue to create this kind of content. So, if you feel like you want to help me launch this podcast, you can do so through the link below with any amount that feels right for you. A sincere thanks to all those who have given so far! I'm excited to bring this project to life! Be sure to watch for updates in the weeks ahead! ​ $5.00 Into The Gray: Podcast The goal of this podcast is to bring a sermon every week for those who want to navigate scripture together in our... Read more Get it now! ​

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Here are some resources Ken suggests to consider:

There are a few resource links scattered throughout the article below, but I wanted to highlight two. My passion is to help parents feel like they have everything they need to confidently share faith with their kids. After working side by side with parents for over a decade in the church, I realized that it is so much easier to teach something that you are currently learning yourself and so, using this model as a blueprint, I wrote two books that focus on helping parents grow in their relationship with God and then empower them to use their experience as a starting point to share faith with their kids.

​May They Be Blessed — If you’ve ever sat through a church service and received a benediction at the end of the service, you’ve been blessed by your pastor to go out into the world empowered by what you’ve just received in the service. I’ve always been awestruck by the simple, but profound truth found in Biblical blessings and that feeling became something that I wanted to pass on to my kids. The introduction of this book takes a deeper look at the three key components of a Biblical blessing, which gives you the tools to craft your own blessing from any part of scripture. Then it includes 50 devotional moments that conclude with a blessing that you can read over your kids. Intended to be used by families with kids of any age, May They Be Blessed empowers parents to dwell in God's truth and to share it with their children so that from an early age they will see who God has created them to be.

​Constant Source Weekly | Family Devotional — Unlike any other family devotional on the market, Constant Source Weekly is “parent-first,” which means that it focuses on helping parents grow in their relationship with God, providing tangible knowledge to pass on, and supplying the tools needed to make sharing faith with kids as easy as possible. Each week, parents are equipped through studying and reflecting on four pieces of scripture, all of which culminate in a fun, activity-driven family devotional moment. Activities are tailored to different age groups making Constant Source Weekly a fun and easy way to build a faith rhythm into your family’s busy schedule.

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What About Our Kids?

One of the things that I love about Ben’s approach to Christian Theology and conversations about faith is that he challenges me to meet questions and issues head-on with vulnerability and intentionality. As fellow readers of Ben’s blog, I imagine you value this too and so when Ben asked me to guest write for today’s post, I immediately knew that it was time to discuss the topic of our Children’s faith journey with the same approach.

When it comes to sharing the Christian faith with our kids, vulnerability and intentionality are arguably the most important postures that we as parents or caregivers can assume. Today, we’re going to chat about the things to be thinking about when it comes to introducing kids to faith and then I will give you a handful of tips and resources to share your faith with the children in your life more intentionally. Let’s jump into it.

The Tale of Two Board Books

As many new parents experience, there are two things that friends and relatives love buying for babies: clothes and books. To be fair, I get it. When I found out I was going to be a dad, I could barely resist the urge to pick up every onesie sporting a clever catchphrase themed around one of my favorite subjects or hobbies. They are just so cute!

And when it comes to books, every parent seems to have a family favorite that has often proven itself worthy of 1,000+ reads. Speaking as a parent of an 11-month-old who is just starting to hit read counts in the triple digits, I’m very thankful for the curation that other brave souls have done on my behalf, reading dozens if not hundreds of terrible kid books, so I didn’t have to. And yet, some stinkers have still managed to find a place on my little girl's bookshelf.

Unfortunately, the majority of them would fall into the genre of Christian books. Like mainstream, made-for-radio Christian music, Christian children’s books tend to be cliche, oversimplified, and focus too much on sinfulness. Now, seeing as how we don’t know each other, let me clearly state upfront that I believe that sin separates us from God and that it is because of Jesus Christ’s death on the cross that we can have a relationship with God. BUT, the point I’m trying to make stems from this question, “What is the main thing that we want our little ones to take away from storytime?

First, while thinking about how our children learn, it is important to remember that everything they can perceive through sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell are all informing their understanding of the world. When we are reading storybooks to our little ones, it might seem obvious, but they are actually learning about the world through what they see and hear from reading time. My little girl hasn’t seen a duck in real life, but she knows from one of our storybooks that it says “Quack” and she thinks that is hilarious.

Similarly, even when kids are young they start to internalize the deeper meaning of things. They learn that “He” is associated with boy and “She” is associated with girl. They learn that some actions are good and some actions are bad. They learn that decisions have consequences and that some things are just the way they are. So, at a high level, part of raising kids is making sure that you are intentionally monitoring their inputs to ensure that you agree with what they are teaching your children. For example, let’s compare these two board books.

As we’ve all been told, we should never judge a book by its cover. BUT, as someone who has read both of these books, I can assure you that the cover is quite representative of what’s inside. Jesus Saves is indeed a retelling of the Gospel, including mention of God; an indictment of one’s sinful nature; Jesus’s birth, death, and resurrection; and an invitation for children to follow Jesus. As I’ve previously stated, I don’t take issue with the theology, however, as someone who has studied children’s development and, maybe even more importantly, is a parent of a little one, the fact that the cover claims this message is “for toddlers” makes me cringe a little bit.

As adults, we can understand the nuance of sinful desires and the fact that God loves us unconditionally, even when we don’t choose to follow Jesus, whether that be generally or in a moment of sinful relapse. However, children can’t. Full stop. Even teenagers struggle with the abstract rationalization that is required to fully grasp the nuance of the Gospel. And so, the simplified nature of the Gospel as presented in a book like this, leads to simplified and often incorrect or harmful internalization.

Ultimately, I don’t want my kids to start their little life internalizing the idea that there is something wrong with them and that love is contingent on their actions.

While Jesus Saves is explicitly Christian, I personally don’t think that it comes close to conveying the love of God nearly as well as Smooch. Just take a look at the tagline “A celebration of the enduring power of love.” I don’t know about you, but when my little girl thinks about God, I want the first thing she thinks about to be God’s enduring, unconditional, neverending, and overwhelming love for her. Full stop. While not explicitly Christan, my wife and I find it much easier to finish a reading of Smooch with, “Just like our love forever links us together, no matter what. God loves you even more, no matter what.” than to try to explain the nuance of the Gospel after reading something like Jesus Saves.

Does our 11-month-old understand who God is yet? Nope. But she is starting to link the words God and love together in a similar way to how she is linking her Mommy and Daddy to the word love. This feels like steps in the right direction.

What about our Older kids?

The core concept at play in the previous example is called Associative Learning. In a nutshell, Associative Learning is the principle that ideas and experiences are linked. Our brains don’t learn or remember concepts in a vacuum, instead, we group ideas and experiences together. When a child is learning that a duck says quack, they are grouping the words with pictures and sounds, but also the feeling. The little giggle that plays across our little girl’s lips when she hears me quack both reinforces the lesson and makes it more likely that when she hears the sound again a smile will appear.

This principle is at play throughout our entire lives and as we get older we make these associations faster and more concretely, for better or worse. For instance, let’s say upon trying out a new restaurant I walk in and find that the interior of the place is a little run down, the food is average, but the staff is incredible and my partner and I have a great conversation. All of these individual experiences come together to inform my feelings about the place. We can’t help but group these things and, as a result, the way we come to understand a thing or form an opinion about it tends to be a combination of feelings, experiences, and ideas.

So, for our older kids, whether they are 3rd graders or 16-year-olds, it’s important to remember that as they are learning to form opinions and ideas about things like faith. They are considering not only the lessons they are being taught, but also the environment in which lessons take place, the attitudes of those around them, and maybe most importantly, the teacher and their passion for the subject or the lack thereof.

Intentional Discipleship

As the people who spend the most time with our children, we tend to have the most opportunities to teach them. From the very beginning, as parents and caregivers, we are our kid's first point of reference for everything and the way we show up in the world shapes the way our kids do too.

This also means, that as Christian parents, we are the number one example of what it looks like to be in relationship with God and we have the beautiful opportunity to introduce our kids to the hope, joy, comfort, and love we’ve found in Jesus.

Now, I know the word discipleship can feel exceptionally loaded. Personally, between having heard it used ad nauseum by the church and having it often tied to some amount of guilt for never doing enough while growing up, I’ve had to redefine it for myself and in the process have come to understand how beautiful and simple discipleship is supposed to be.

Discipleship is simply following Christ and sharing what the Holy Spirit is doing in your life with others.

When it comes to sharing faith with our kids, as we’ve seen from the examples above, it’s important to do it intentionally. To be clear, intentionality doesn’t mean putting on a complex production of faith. In fact, quite the opposite, intentionality is simply being attentive to the ways you are modeling faith.

My work with children and families over the last decade has taught me a very important truth about kids, one that I see every day at play in my little girl:

Children are ALWAYS learning.

This means that whether we are explicitly teaching them about something or unintentionally modeling a behavior or routine, kids pick up on everything. This is why being attentive to the ways that you talk about God and intentional about the ways you share your faith with your kids is important.

Intentional discipleship is simply associating faith intentionally with other positive experiences and showing our kids that faith isn’t a strict set of teachings and rules, but rather a wholistic way of living our lives dwelling in God’s love, as experienced in a multitude of ways, and following Jesus’s example together.

RESOURCE: Raising Christian Kids | Reimagining Family Discipleship — If you’d like to dive a bit deeper and explore the role that family plays in discipleship, check out this blog post.

Tips for Sharing Faith with Kids

In a nutshell, as parents and caregivers, we are the primary teachers in our kids' lives. Sharing faith with our kids can take on a variety of forms, some passive, some focused on engagement with kids, but in every case intentionality is key.

Below is a short list of ways to disciple your kids through modeling faith accompanied by resources to make it easy and fun. Remember when sharing our faith with our kids is done well, it looks like teaching through example.

Tip #1: Focus on Your Own Spiritual Growth

This might seem like a bit of an odd place to start, but the truth is that we can only teach what we know and we can only share what we’ve experienced. So in order to share faith, you need to practice it. One of the best ways to do that is through Spiritual disciplines. Spiritual disciplines are simply God-focused faith practices that help us connect with God. Common examples include prayer, meditation, Bible study, and gratitude. There are so many reasons to cultivate a thriving spiritual life with God, but for today's purposes, practicing spiritual disciplines models for our kids what it tangibly looks like to pursue a relationship with God. One of the key ways that Jesus taught the disciples was through setting aside time to pray and pursue the will of God in heaven. One of the very best things you can do for your kids is to create your own daily routine of spending time with God.

RESOURCE: Spiritually Fit — If you'd like to learn more about spiritual disciplines and receive a fresh perspective on how to practice them, check out this helpful guide.

Tip #2: Talk About What God is Showing You

A great way to share faith with kids of all ages is to talk with them about the ways you see God at work. The "old-school" word for this is a testimony. But don’t let that word scare you, your testimony can be as simple as pointing out the little lessons that God is teaching you every day. One of the really great parts of this method of modeling is that it goes both ways. You can both share what God is doing in your life and encourage your family members to share what God is doing in their lives too.

RESOURCE: God Sightings Family Log — If you'd like to make a family activity out of this method, you should try one of my favorite activities from my family devotional, "God Sightings." "God Sightings" challenges your family to be on the lookout for places where God is at work throughout the day and provides a family log for you to record what you see.

Tip #3: Daily Prayers and Blessings

Whether it be a blessing before school or a bedtime prayer before shutting off the lights, pray with each family member every day including your spouse. In the same way that our children learn to talk, they learn to pray by watching and listening to you. No matter their age, your kids will always benefit from you leading them in prayer and praying on their behalf.

RESOURCE: May They Be Blessed — If you are looking for a new prayer practice, I highly recommend that you check out my book on biblical blessings. It's specifically designed to give you the words to pray God's truth over your kids and it is useful for kids from ages 0-18.

Tip #4: Create a Family Devotional Rhythm

Creating a family habit around devotions is a great way to model the importance of Christian identity and faith. When you show up at a given time consistently and invite your kids into a moment focused on God, you are communicating to them that your family values intentionally seeking after God. Some families do a quick, but consistent check-in at dinner. Others find it easier to connect over breakfast. I am a huge fan of incorporating devotions and God-focused activities into a weekly family night.

There are two key aspects to making family night sustainable and successful. First, you must put family night on the calendar and guard it against any other opportunities that come up. Once you se aside a family night, I bet that it will become the most sought-after night of the week. Keep in mind that as seasons change so too might the week night for family night. Second, make sure that you have fun. Bible reading and reflection have their place, but spice up your night by having fun questions and activities to make your topic come to life for your kids.

RESOURCE: Constant Source Weekly | Family Devotional — If you are looking for a resource that will help you confidently prepare for family night and then smash it out of the park with conversation topics and activities for all ages, I wrote this devotional for you.

Tip #5: Share Doubts

This may seem counterintuitive, but research shows that one of the best ways to help your kids develop a lasting and durable faith is to help them learn to deal with doubt. Successfully modeling your Christian faith means letting your kids know that it is okay to doubt. When you share your doubt, you normalize it. When you ask God to help you understand something, in front of your kids, you show them what to do when they have doubts down the road. When you lean in and choose to pursue God, you show them that you will continue to love God in the midst of your doubt because you know God can handle it.

Tip #6: Prioritize Christian Community

Attending church regularly can be very tricky for busy families, especially those who live in cities where kid’s sports dominate the entire weekend. However, prioritizing church and participating in a Christian community is hugely important for the faith development of your kids. Aside from the obvious aspects, such as learning about God, prioritizing church sends a very clear message to our kids. Worshiping God and being a part of the body of Christ is what is important to our family. Another great benefit of attending church regularly is being a part of the Christian family. Being Christian comes with its own set of traditions, celebrations, and God-focused practices, many of which are most powerfully experienced with others. That said, keep in mind that it is important to be intentional about selecting your Christian community because, in doing so, you are implicitly granting authority to your pastors and ministry directors. So, having a thorough understanding of what they are teaching your kids is key. Encourage your kids to be curious, ask questions, and talk to you about the things they are being taught. At its best, whether in a church or with a group of close friends, Christian community can be one of the most influential and impactful parts of your children’s faith development.

Now I'd like to hear from you!

Did you find this helpful? Be sure to let me know. I'd love to send it along to Ken.